I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
