Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
