i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
