i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
