He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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