Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
