I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
