Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
