Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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