You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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