my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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