At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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