im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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