i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she smelled like a LAN party
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
