is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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