A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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