Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
