Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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