is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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