if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
its not stalking. its research.
where does the pee come out of this thing
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
