Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
