How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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