I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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