Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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