so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
