Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
