she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
