If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
