ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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