Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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