I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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