I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
