Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize