I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
