she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
