i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
