Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
