i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
