I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize