He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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