i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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