have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
