mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
