smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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