Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
