Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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