Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
