good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
