just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
