She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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