It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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