I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
