Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Im part way to drunk.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
