So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
