would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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