Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
