i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
