Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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