Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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