I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
