I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
