i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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